On the Retirement of Bob Mellon

By Joan Bloom

It’s with pleasure I put pen to hand,
On the virtues of Bob to expand,
He’s been here since the start,
His career we can chart,
From day one to the retirement he planned.

Of the five he tried acting as boss,
Munro, King, Doraty, Toutain and Voss.
Yes, they love him to bits,
Cause coffee breaks he permits,
His departure they view a great loss.

“Back to the future” Bob’s daily refrain,
No idea hasn’t passed through his brain,
While this may sound uncouth,
He is well-loved by Ruth,
Implemented her ideas most arcane.

It is clear that Bob went to great pains,
To make sure all was right with the Mains,
But we should have objected,
When those Supps he directed,
(Which line by line atrophied all our brains). 

With his family he’ll now stay full time,
On McKenna he’ll spend every last dime,
You’ll agree that he’s tight,
We need not be polite,
Good thing that he’s still in his prime.

Does this mean we may see him back soon?
On a contract as early as June?
He should run away fast,
Think of us as “the past”,
Maybe open “Bob Mellon’s Saloon”!



For his job Bob was one fine competer,
At the time no office seemed sweeter,
But no sooner retired,
We find out he’s been hired,
By WalMart, to work as a greeter.

Let’s reflect on what else Bob could be,
A General in our crack military?
He could then boss around,
In the air, on the ground,
All our troops, who he’d make work for free.

He’s an expert at doing Tai-Chi,
As a cricket he’s scary to see,
But it helps with the stress,
If I may digress,
As long as those lessons are free.

Now Bob can sure make tongues wag,
Career-wise a constant red flag,
He appeared before Ops,
And pulled out the stops,
Releasing the cat from the bag.

“I’m a specialist in Estimates for sure”,
“You can quote me in case you’re unsure”,
I’ll give you all the juice,
Cause my tongue is so loose,
More important, my retirement’s secure.

Would Bob sell all the dirt that he knows,
On the numbers the Estimates shows,
To the dark side of the House,
Would the truth he espouse, 
All dressed up in the Emperor’s new clothes?

Things won’t be the same around here,
Without Bob, our dear colleague and peer,
Where will we go now?
When the ninth floor has a cow,
And no other would dare volunteer.